WTF???

Martha Stewart and Tony Bourdain? WTF???

Since learning of this unholy alliance, I have no choice but to actually do something with this blog. I created it awhile ago after seeing the No Reservations (NR) New Orleans episode, where Tony firmly plants his nose up Emeril's dirty ass then lip-locks said bunghole in submission, sucking it for all its worth (hoping for an endorsement of some sort, no doubt). After all the Emeril bashing Bourdain had done, this was absolutely unacceptable, and a sure sign of his impending moral collapse. Sure, Emeril stood by his employees in the post Katrina chaos, and is to be commended for such, but that does not undo the fact that he is an obnoxious piece of shit, fake ass wanna be Cajun (he is from Boston) who needs to have his ass kicked again and again (shouting "Bam" at each impact of the boot against his distended belly), kicking him down a few notches.

Yesterday I saw online that Mr. Bourdain and his butt buddy Eric Ripert have joined forces with Martha Fucking Stewart on her radio show on Sirius. As if frenching Emeril's asshole wasn't bad enough, now he has sidled up with the evil stepford wife queen of all that is rich, white and boring. What a fuckhead. What a sellout, piece of shit mother fucker this asshole is turning out to be. Hypocrite does not even begin to describe this no talent hack. Fuck you, Tony.

I understand that everyone needs to make a living, and Bourdain should be doing quite well with the proceeds from his show and books (Kitchen Confidential was great, the rest are questionable, and Bobby Gold is obviously a statement of his inadequacy and self loathing stemming from his likely being hung like a hamster). With the backing he likely has, why would you join up with Martha? While I cannot quote directly just yet, I am pretty sure TB (fitting initials for him) has railed against Martha before, which makes this sellout just that much worse.

In the Vancouver episode of NR, he solicits his chef friends as to which of them will take the 10 million and open a joint in Vegas. They all decline and say they are happy where they are, but clearly the only thing on Tony's mind is the big payday, the sloppy wet kiss of anyone with a stack of cash, the ultimate cheek spreading moment when he can finally give up his fake values and be someone's full time ass slave. His quest for a master is evidenced further in one of the Viet Nam episodes, where he pines for an advertising gig with a coffee enema product. This ass clown would hawk anything for a buck.

From here forward, I am declaring open season on all things Tony Bourdain. He is an Ass Clown, Punk Bitch piece of shit who would probably sell his wife and kid for a chance to lick James Beards cold dead asshole.